


Words Unspoken

by GreenDrinkGoddess



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-28
Updated: 2015-01-30
Packaged: 2018-03-09 11:30:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3248039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenDrinkGoddess/pseuds/GreenDrinkGoddess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One weekend in New York brings back memories Regina and Emma would rather stay buried. But is remembering enough to rekindle what they once had?</p><p>Set 10 years after the Snow Queen's curse.<br/>Inspired by this poem here: http://exceptindreams.livejournal.com/214571.html<br/>Warning: Character death at the end.</p><p>Mature for some smut in later chapters ;)</p><p>*Mentions of Hook and Hood but neither make an appearance*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I've had this in my notes since the start of Jan when Mhairi inadvertently asked me to write a fic inspired by this poem: http://exceptindreams.livejournal.com/214571.html  
> (This is also the poem Emma reads)
> 
> Finally got round to finishing it so here you are.
> 
> Be warned however, I cannot guarantee a happy ending. Lots of angst and a little bit of smut though :) 
> 
> Disclaimer: All characters belong to ABC.

Ten years had passed since the last curse. The town line was no longer a barrier and people could come and go as they pleased. Many residents had left to travel and discover more of the world they had been sent to nearly forty years ago. A few returned and a few never left. Henry had gone of course, taken a year out to travel before starting an English Literature course at New York University. He would be the first Storybrooke resident to get a proper degree and everyone was very proud, not least of all his mothers. 

~

"Hello."  
"Hi mom it's me."  
"Henry! How lovely to hear from you. Are you okay? Is Lucy okay?"  
"We broke up mom."  
"Oh honey I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."  
"It just kinda fizzled out I suppose."  
"Is there anything I can do? Maybe get some of that speciality hot chocolate in when you get back?"  
"I think I'm going to stay here over spring break mom, I really need to catch up on work."  
"Oh, okay sweetheart if you're sure?"  
"Yeah. How about you and Ma come down for a long weekend? I can show you my campus and the big city?"  
"I would love to Henry! I'll just call Emma and let you know when we're free."  
"Okay mom. I've gotta go, someone's knocking on my door. Love you."  
"I love you too Henry."

~

"Wow, I love your digs!" Emma grinned and as she looked around Henry's dorm room, the walls covered in film posters and other little doodles and knick knacks he'd collected over the years.  
"We don't call them 'digs' Ma, it's just my dorm." Emma was too excited to feel embarrassed by her out of date slang. She was looking forward to a weekend in New York with her two favourite people. When Regina had suggested it she had said yes immediately and would have started packing then and there if she hadn't been called away to an emergency - which had turned out to be a cat up a tree...again. Regina had been equally excited about the trip. She couldn't remember the last time she had been outside Maine, let alone in New York.  
"Henry dear, where are the toilets? The trip was rather long and Emma refused to stop." Regina glared pointedly at the blonde who merely shrugged and carried on looking through Henry's work on his desk. Henry chuckled as he led Regina out of the room and down the corridor.

As the door clicked shut behind them, a printed page with Henry's scrawled annotations caught Emma's eye. Picking it up, she read through the poem and then Henry's annotations on it. 

"It's for my term paper." His voice shocked Emma who dropped the piece of paper. Henry bent to pick it up and placed it neatly in a green folder with other, similarly annotated poems. "Sorry, I thought you'd hear me come back in."  
Emma shook her head and asked, "What's the term paper about?"  
"Relationships. How they're represented through language, how the language has changed over time and changes depending on the sort of relationship being described. That one," Henry pointed to the green folder, "is my favourite. It tells us about almosts, about getting so close to something but pulling out at the last minute because you're scared or you're too in love and you don't want that feeling ruined if something goes wrong. I think it kinda described me and Luce, maybe that's why I grew attached to it." Emma nodded. Reading the poem, she had felt the words resonate within her, bring back traces of memories she'd sooner leave well forgotten. Before she could speak, however, Regina returned.

"So, dinner?" Both Henry and Emma nodded vigorously and Regina laughed at how similar they looked in that moment. "I fancy a steak."

Dessert menus had just been placed in front of them when Henry's phone buzzed. Checking who it was, he apologised to his mothers and stood from the table to answer it. Five minutes later he came back.  
"I'm really sorry but I have to go. The creative media society, the one I'm secretary for, they've called an emergency meeting. Something to do with plagiarism, I couldn't really hear on the phone." Grabbing his coat from his chair, he kissed both women on their temples. "I'm really sorry but I have to be there, I'll pay you for dinner tomorrow." He called as he rushed out of the restaurant. Regina smiled at his retreating form before turning to Emma who was frowning over the dessert menu.  
"I want to get drunk." Emma looked up, wondering if she had heard Regina right. "Really really really drunk. I want shots.  
Emma closed the menu and grinned. "Count me in." Regina raised her hand to gain their waiters attention, paid the bill and led Emma out of the restaurant and into a bar a couple of blocks over.

~

Finding themselves a booth, Emma slumped down onto the cushioned chair. Regina stayed standing,  
"Tequila?" Emma nodded and sat back as Regina left for the bar.

A few shots later, both women would say they were tipsy but not yet drunk. That didn't hinder Emma's confidence, however, as she started questioning Regina's marriage.  
"So you and Hood are in love?"  
"I suppose so."  
"You suppose so? You're either in love or you aren't Regina. There's no suppose so about it. For instance, I wouldn't say I was in love with Hook. He's a decent guy and he's nice enough... I guess... but I'm not in love." Regina rested her chin on her hand, watching as Emma's brows became more animated as she spoke.  
"Well then no, I guess I'm not in love anymore." Emma's eyebrows shot up and she opened her mouth only to be shut down by Regina's finger pressing firmly against her lips. "That's not to say I don't still love him, because I do...I think..." Emma quirked an eyebrow again but stayed silent. "It's just, it's not turning out how I expected."  
"Interesting," Regina rolled her eyes.  
"What is?" She asked.  
"Oh nothing." But a stony glare from Regina forced her to continue, "Only I thought you two were the perfect couple y'know, the Barack and Michelle of Storybrooke. Nothing could come between you etcetera etcetera... well except maybe me." Emma drunkenly winked at Regina, who glared at her again. Emma continued unfazed. "As my mum would say, all sunshine and rainbow stickers and unicorns..." Emma looked up, "No?" Regina shook her head,"No." Emma shrugged and held up her empty shot glass.  
"More?" Regina nodded and Emma stood and headed back to the bar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think. I have six more chapters to follow and I'll be posting them anyway for Mhairi but I'd love to know what the rest of the world is thinking :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay. I got a review on ff.net about publishing the poem that inspired me in full within the fic so I had to do a bit of digging with whether I could post the poem here or not. Luckily I can post the stanzas just the whole thing.
> 
> Anyways so here you go. Warning: here be a teensy bit of smut.

_'The last time you came to see me there were anchors in your eyes,_   
_Hardback books in your posture._   
_You were the five star general of sureness,_   
_A crisp white tuxedo of a man.'_

More tequila shots later, both women had lost count by now, Emma licked the lime juice from her lips and leaned across the table that separated them. Regina, placing her latest shot glass on top of the growing tower, leaned back, crossed her arms and arched an eyebrow. 

"Regina." Emma paused, brow furrowing as she tried to remember what she had wanted to say. Regina smirked but stayed silent, amused at Emma's confusion. Emma held up a finger, "Stop smirking, it'll come back to me." A moment later Emma's face lit up. "Yes!" She snapped her fingers and turned one to point at Regina. "You." Regina uncrossed her arms, moved the finger away and sat forward so she was almost nose to nose with Emma. 

"Me?" She asked innocently. 

"That's what I said..." Emma slurred slightly and frowned again, "isn't it?" Regina merely shrugged and carried on smirking at Emma's inebriated state. Emma shook her head and then winced, regretting the sudden movement. Taking a deep breath, she looked back up at Regina, who's eyes had never left her. "You." She whispered. They looked at each other for a moment, breaths hitched.

Emma blinked, breaking the tension, and shifted back so she could look at Regina properly. "I never told you about our first meeting did I?" Regina laughed at the absurdity of Emma's words. However, she knew she could get an easy laugh from the conversation so she decided to indulge her drunken friend.

"No dear, I don't think you did." Emma nodded knowingly and took a breath before continuing.

"It was your dress that started this whole damn thing." Emma gestured circles with her finger. "That tight, grey, dress. The stockings, the heels, your perfect hair, the apple and cinnamon perfume that sat...satu..." Emma paused and looked at Regina in confusion, the word on the tip of her tongue but the drink making it impossible for her to say it. Regina laughed again.

"Saturated?" 

"Yes!" Emma exclaimed, slapping her hand on the table. Then she frowned again, trying to remember what she had been saying. "Your perfume. And then you looked at me like I had brought your entire world crashing down-"

"Which you kind of had." Regina couldn't help but interrupt.

"Shushhh you." Emma flapped at Regina who merely smiled as the blonde became increasingly flustered. "And you looked at me, so sad and I knew in that moment..." Emma trailed off as she moved closer to Regina, their breath intermingling, their eyes fixed upon one another. 

Those eyes, Emma knew they were chocolate brown but the dimmed lighting of the bar had turned them almost black. They looked straight at Emma, flicking occasionally as Regina glanced between Emma's eyes and her lips. The movement, of course, was not lost on Emma. She glanced down herself, taking in the slight sheen of sweat covering the olive toned skin and the fruity perfume Regina had spritzed over her pulse points earlier in the day. Down her eyes roamed until she reached those plump, rich lips. The edges were turned upwards, and gradually, as Emma watched, the lips parted and Regina's tongue slowly, carefully slipped over them. 

All logical thought left Emma in that moment as she leaned further forward and softly touched her lips to Regina's. Warmth spread like fire through her body, every nerve on end, her blood racing, pulsing through her body, her heart pounding so fast. Regina pushed forward, her lips connecting more solidly with Emma's, her mouth opening slightly to allow access for Emma's insistent tongue. Emma's hands found dark brown waves and clung to them as slender fingers slipped through her own blonde curls. The kiss deepened further, both women's tongues now exploring the others mouth as much as possible. 

Regina pulled back, gasping for breath but never letting Emma's hair go.  
"That chainsaw, when you didn't leave, your red lace panties, outside my crypt." Her words were punctuated with quick, insistent kisses to Emma's swollen lips. "The power play, the challenge, I loved it." Regina nibbled at Emma's low lip, causing the blonde to smile before Regina enveloped her lips again and thrust her tongue back into Emma's mouth. Regina felt the heat spread again, racing through her stomach and pooling between her thighs. 

Again Regina pulled away and whispered in Emma's ear, "Bathroom." Emma quickly nodded and both woman stood and stumbled quickly toward the toilets at the back of the bar. Thankfully the ladies was empty. Emma pulled Regina into the cubicle furthest from the door and pushed the brunette up against the locked door, her body moulding to Regina's instantly. Her mouth found Regina's again and she pulled on Regina's lower lip as her nimble fingers found the button and zipper on Regina's jeans. Undoing them to allow her access, Emma quickly slipped her hand inside Regina's purple panties and felt the wetness waiting for her there. Regina hitched her left leg up around Emma's waist, allowing Emma further access, and wrapped her arms securely around the blondes neck. Her lips stayed locked to Emma's even as a moan vibrated through her throat at Emma's soft touch. Regina pulled away slightly, "More." She whispered in Emma's ear before nibbling the lobe and moving further down to kiss over Emma's pulse, alternating between light bites and soothing licks. Emma smiled at Regina's insistence and slowly moved two fingers over Regina's clit and down until they were sitting over her entrance, lightly stroking it. Regina growled into Emma's neck and Emma chuckled before thrusting deep into Regina. The brunette closed her eyes at the sudden intrusion and let out a deep groan. She hadn't felt this full in years, not even Robin managed to make her feel like this anymore. Biting into the spread of pale skin between Emma's neck and shoulder, Regina rocked her hips forward, moving Emma's fingers further into her. Emma stroked the ribbed flesh on Regina's inner wall and flicked her thumb over the brunettes growing clit.

As Emma moved to pump her fingers in and out of Regina, the door to the bathroom opened and voices entered. Instead of moving into cubicles, however, they stopped in front of the only one occupied and faced the mirrors to touch up their makeup. Laughing and chatting, they didn't notice the two sets of feet beneath the door or the particularly heavy breathing coming from within. Emma moved to continue her movements but Regina stopped her hand and lowered her leg. Frowning, Emma removed her hand and stepped back, allowing Regina to refasten her jeans. They stood, looking at each other as they waited for the two other women to leave. When they eventually did, Regina opened the cubicle and stepped out. Emma followed.

"What the hell Regina? They wouldn't have caught us, I'd make sure they wouldn't have heard you." Emma, drink still keeping her from logical thought, couldn't understand why Regina had stopped. Especially as an insistent heat now sat between her own thighs and she knew it wouldn't be sorted out by this brunette beauty any time soon. Regina just shook her head,

"It wasn't them Emma." She took a deep breath. "We can't go back there, it wasn't healthy then and it won't be now. We're too different and we both have..." Regina paused as she decided how she could describe their partners, "men." Emma rolled her eyes at this, she knew that the fact they were both with other people hadn't stopped Regina in the past and likely wouldn't be the reason she had stopped this time. Regina continued, "I feel so alive when I'm with you, like everything is clear and real and-" Emma stepped forward and held Regina's face in her hands.

"So why aren't we in that cubicle fucking each other stupid?" Anger seeped into Emma's voice, the alcohol still stopping her brain from thinking clearly and it only added to her frustration. Regina pulled away and glared,

"Because I said so Emma! You might think I'm being selfish and you can call me all the names under the sun but I refuse to go back there, to what we were then." Regina pushed away from the sinks and headed for the door. "Let's go." 

Emma watched the door swing shut behind her before washing her hands and following Regina out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: More smut here, if it isn't your thing skip to the text conversation and read from there.
> 
> Everything in italics is memories/dreaming.  
> The text message part takes place over the span of about a year, they're just snapshots into their relationship.

_'I was fiddling with my worn coat pockets,_  
 _Puffing false confidence ghosts in the cold January air._  
 _My hands were shitty champagne flutes_  
 _Brimming with cheap merlot._  
 _I couldn't touch you without ruining you,_  
 _So I didn't touch you at all.'_

Emma slipped between the soft sheets of the queen sized bed, situated against the adjoining wall of her plush hotel room. She knew Regina lay on the other side of the wall in a room the mirror image of this one. Her body thrummed, still waiting for the release she had been denied only half an hour earlier. Rolling onto her back, Emma considered finishing the job, just to show Regina what she had missed, but then she remembered Regina's words, biting, forcing her to remember the past, and suddenly the heat ebbed away.

Emma slipped further into the huge bed and pulled the comforter up under her chin. She swallowed thickly as images flashed through her mind, memories she had promised herself she wouldn't dig up, and a silent salty tear dripped over her nose and onto the cream pillowcase beneath her head.

~

_The author had been found. Regina had negotiated with him but after being shown her alternate timeline, where she kissed Robin outside the Tavern, never continued her magic lessons and therefore never cast a curse, she realised it wouldn't have been her happy ending after all. Henry had managed to reach her just in time and remind her that without a curse he would never exist. Regina had walked away from the Manor House on the edge of Storybrooke that day and felt happier than she had in a long time. Soon after she was surprised yet again by the unexpected return of Robin Hood to Storybrooke. They were wed less than a month later._

_~_

_Regina's second year anniversary crept ever closer and with it a sense of dread. Her marriage had been wonderful, she truly thought she had found her happiness in Robin and her son. They lived in the most perfect domestic bliss and Regina couldn't imagine being happier. But then doubt weaved it's way in. Regina was bored. They hadn't had a nemesis to fight in years and Regina realised she missed it. The adventure, the magic coursing through her veins, the excitement of being the hero. But most of all, she thought, she missed her friend. For that was what Emma had become during Operation Mongoose; a friend, a confidant and Regina had hoped on more than one occasion Emma would become something more. But before either had made a move, Robin had returned and both women had settled with their respective men. Since then, Emma had sat on the peripherals of Regina's life. Co-parent, drinking buddy, somebody she could have a glass of wine and a rant with but they weren't as close as they had once been and Regina decided that that was going to change. Now._

_Grabbing her phone from the table beside her bed, Regina scrolled through until she reached Emma's name. Pressing the call sign, she took a deep breath._

_"Regina? What's up?" Regina took another deep breath, in for a penny in for a pound she thought._  
"I'm bored Emma." The woman on the other end laughed.  
"Me too Regina, do you want to pop over and watch a movie or something?" Regina smiled at the simplicity of Emma's response. If only her boredom could be cured by something as easy as a movie marathon.  
"No Emma, I mean I'm bored with Robin, with my life with him. I need another adventure, something new and exciting." Regina held her breath as she waited for Emma's response. Silence for a moment and then,  
"Are you saying what I think you're saying Regina?"  
"Yes." The brunette replied quietly. Emma waited a moment and then,  
"Can I come over?" Regina let out a sigh of relief and replied.  
"Yes." Emma stayed on the line for a moment longer before hanging up. 

_Regina walked over to her vanity table and pulled a hairbrush through her brown waves. Touching up her eyeliner and mascara, she spritzed the pulse points on her neck and wrist with her favourite apple and cinnamon perfume before making her way downstairs. She took a bottle of rosé from the rack and two wine glasses into the living room and had just settled nervously onto the couch when the doorbell rang._

_"Hey." Emma stood, hands in pockets, on Regina's porch. Her hair was up in a loose ponytail and her signature red leather jacket hung snugly around her toned shoulders and arms.  
"Come in." Regina replied and lead the way to the living room, letting Emma close the door behind her._

_The two women sat facing each other on the plush couch, wine glasses in hand. They each took a nervous sip before placing their glasses side by side._  
"So-"  
"Emma-" they both spoke at the same time and laughed nervously. Emma motioned for Regina to continue so the brunette coughed and started again. 

_"Emma, we've been friends for quite some time now and over the years I started to develop... well something for you. I was going to say something after we found the author to that godforsaken book but then Robin turned up, out of nowhere, claiming he had separated from Marian and found a way back and I just, I thought I couldn't say no. We were soulmates, he had found a way back to me because he loved me. How could I turn him away?"_

_Emma inched slowly forward, smiling shyly at Regina and encouraging her to continue.  
"I'm not saying I regret what I did, Robin makes me happy and I do love the life we have created together but he doesn't excite me and I... well..." Regina looked up to see Emma staring back at her, eyes open and no hint of a smirk or laugh on her lips. "There was always excitement with you, you always brought out the best in me. You and Henry. So, if you're... well if you're willing then I want to start something between us." They were now mere inches from each other and Emma could smell that perfume, that sweet, spicy oh so intoxicating perfume._

_"Purely physical of course?" Emma asked, leaning over and pushing away a lock of Regina's hair so she could cup her right cheek. The brunette nodded,_

_"Of course, no strings, no emotions just... an adventure." Emma nodded and lifted her other hand to the back of Regina's neck, pulling the older woman forwards._

_"Then I guess..." Emma paused, her mouth impossibly close to Regina's, "yes." Regina pushed forward, crashing their mouths together whilst slipping her hands through Emma's hair and gripping it tight, holding the woman in place. Her mouth opened immediately as she felt heat course through her body and down between her thighs, which started to throb in anticipation. Her tongue roamed through Emma's mouth, exploring as much as it could as her hands traveled south out of the blonde curls and down Emma's sides to land on her hips._

_Emma pushed forward, lowering Regina slowly back onto the couch as she straddled her thighs. She didn't want to rush the brunette as she didn't know how much experience, if any, she had with women. And she wanted Regina to remember this moment, not rush through it. Emma moved down Regina's neck, leaving a trail of kisses as she went. Reaching the top of Regina's blouse, the blonde took no time in opening it fully and allowing Regina to divest herself of the garment. The navy bra followed soon after and Emma bent back down to take a hardened nipple in her mouth. As she alternately sucked and nibbled each breast, Emma couldn't help but grin at the shallow gasps and moans emanating from the brunette above her. Emma continued her journey southwards with a trail of feather light kisses down Regina's stomach and onto her bikini line. Sitting back, Emma unzipped Regina's slacks and pulled them away so they were no longer a hindrance. She positioned herself between Regina's legs and looked up to see Regina staring down at her. Her eyes were glazed slightly and her pupils were dilated as she waited for Emma's next move. Her breaths still came in short pants causing her breasts to rise and fall rapidly and Emma didn't think she had ever seen anything so beautiful. Realising she was being stared at, Regina turned away and blushed a deep pink._  
"What?" She croaked. Emma just shook her head.  
"You're beautiful." Regina smiled shyly and Emma dipped her head down to continue her work. Stroking Regina through her panties, Emma kissed along Regina's inner thighs, nibbling sometimes but always soothing with a flick of her tongue. By now she had slipped inside the panties and was rubbing slow circles over Regina's clit. From above she heard a hoarse gasp and then,  
"More." Complying, Emma pulled away Regina's panties and immediately began to suckle upon the bundle of nerves. Moving one had over Regina's left thigh to keep the woman in place later, Emma moved her other over Regina's slit and gathered some of the wetness there. Pulling away from her clit, Emma heard Regina whimper at the loss before lifting her head up and ensuring the brunette watched as she licked her covered fingers. I may as well enjoy myself as well, Emma thought. Regina groaned again at the sight before growling at the blonde,  
"Emma, please." Emma didn't need any more encouragement and she dipped her head back down to take Regina's throbbing clit back in her mouth. Slowly Emma moved two fingers inside Regina and curled them forwards so they rubbed against Regina's G-spot. The brunette immediately bucked her hips forwards and grabbed for Emma's head as she moaned deeply. Emma continued to rub the the ribbed flesh on Regina's inner walls, eliciting pants and moans from the woman above her. Straightening her fingers, Emma thrust them deeper before pulling almost fully out and repeating the movement.  
"Faster Emma, harder." The brunette breathlessly panted at the blonde between her legs. Emma complied, starting a rapid rhythm in and out whilst simultaneously flicking her tongue across Regina's clit. Regina began thrusting her hips in time and it didn't take long before Emma could feel Regina's inner walls pulse and begin to clamp around her fingers. Suddenly, Regina's back arched, her hips thrust forward and her eyes closed tightly as a deep groan left her mouth and a rush of liquid flowed into Emma's palm. Giving Regina's clit a quick kiss, Emma moved down and drank as much of it as she could. From above, she heard a sigh of contentment and slowly crawled back up Regina's body until she was balanced over her, almost nose to nose.  
"Kiss me." Regina looked up into the dark green eyes gazing down at her and knew she had made an awful mistake. But sex hadn't been that good in years, not since the enchanted forest at least, and for now that outweighed any of her doubts about this new... thing. 

_Emma leaned down and softly kissed Regina's swollen lips but the older woman immediately teased Emma's mouth open, wanting to taste herself on the blondes tongue. Regina moaned again into Emma's mouth and hands slid down to Emma's ass as she pulled her closer. Pulling away for air, the brunette managed to whisper,  
"My turn."_

_However, as soon as she had returned her mouth to Emma's, the other woman's cell phone buzzed in the coat she had draped over the chair arm.  
"Leave it." Regina whispered, she knew Emma was turned on and ready to go but the blonde pulled up and away, getting off Regina completely and standing._

_"I can't that's Henry's tone." At the mention of her sons name, Regina blushed and nodded before scrambling to gather her clothes. Emma felt her her cheeks heat up at Regina's obvious embarrassment before answering the call. "Hey kid, what's up?" pausing for Henry's response, Emma watched as Regina delicately redid her blouse buttons. "Okay I'll be over in ten minutes, I'm just with your mom." Regina, having finished getting dressed, blushed again and glared at Emma. The blonde just shrugged before saying goodbye and hanging up. "His meeting finished early so he needs picking up now." Donning her coat, Emma turned to leave the lounge but was stopped by Regina's hand on her arm._

_"Will you come over tomorrow? Robin will be out hunting all day and I still haven't had a turn yet." Regina smiled shyly. Emma grinned at the proposition and kissed Regina fully on the lips._

_"Of course, same time?" Regina nodded._

_Emma leant against her bug as she watched Henry say goodbye to his friends. She smiled as she felt the ghost of Regina's lips on hers but groaned as it caused the insistent throb between her legs to return. Tomorrow couldn't come quickly enough._

_~_

_Regina's body fell limp, her heart still pounding and her breaths merely ragged gasps as she came down from yet another orgasm. She smiled as the blonde woman climbed up her body, leaving a trail of soft kisses as she went, before landing her final one on Regina's swollen lips. Emma shifted away from Regina as the brunette pulled the comforter over her body and curled onto her side. Emma immediately slipped beneath the covers and molded her body around Regina's. Slipping an arm over the brunettes waist and pulling her brown waves back, Emma pecked the space behind her ear, gaining a hum of approval from her. However, Regina's next words stopped her in her tracks,_  
"Purely physical remember." Emma left one last kiss on Regina's neck before sighing,  
"Of course," and closing her eyes, welcoming the serenity sleep would bring. 

_~_

_Emma moaned as she felt herself climb closer and closer to the edge. Regina's talented tongue was doing wonders around her clit as fingers pumped in and out of her and the brunette's other hand continued to flick and tweak at Emma's nipples. Finally, Emma felt herself tumble over and into ecstasy, her inner walls pulsing around Regina's fingers and clit throbbing, a ball of fire under Regina's tongue. As soon as Emma fell limp, Regina withdrew and sat up. She was moving off the bed when Emma attempted to pull her down into a kiss. She yanked her arm out of Emma's grip and stood up off the bed._  
"You need to go." Emma frowned, her head still a little fuzzy from the orgasm. Sure, Regina had had to throw her out in the past but that was usually because they were cutting it fine with Robin or Henry returning home. This time though, Emma knew for sure neither were due to come back for a few hours.  
"Regina? What's wrong." The brunette sighed.  
"Nothing's wrong Emma, I just want you to leave." Emma continued to stare at the brunette, trying to figure out if she had said or done something to upset her. Unable to think of anything, Emma slowly stood from the bed and redressed, reminding herself this was just physical. They were there for the sex and nothing else, Although Regina usually liked to cuddle afterwards maybe she wanted to distance herself, Emma thought. After pecking Regina on the corner of her mouth, Emma crossed the room and opened the door before saying,  
"Same time Tuesday?" Regina was stirred from her thoughts by the words and shook her head.  
"I'm out of town all next week remember? Robin and I are going on a couples retreat and you have Henry." Emma could vaguely remember Regina telling her through gasps and moans but had filed it away under things to ask Regina about later.  
"Oh yeah, well have fun. Try not to think of me." Emma winked at Regina but the brunette just looked at her before replying,  
"I won't." The smile on Emma's lips faded and she left the room, leaving a naked Regina to perch on her bed deep in thought. 

~

'Can I come over Saturday afternoon?'

_'I'm afraid Robin has planned a picnic for us so I won't be available.'_

'How about Sunday?'

_'Henry's riding lesson. Sometimes I take a horse out for a light hack.'_

~

'Hook's away for the weekend, want to come and christen my bed (eventually) ;) '

_'Robin is taking me camping all weekend.'_

'Okay, maybe next time.'

_'Maybe.'_

~

'Can I call you?'

_'No.'_

'Is Robin there?'

_'Yes.'_

'Can you leave the room? I really really need to call you.'

_'No we're watching a television program. Can't you just text me?'_

'Ugh no, I need to say it hint hint ;) '

_'Well you'll have to call me later then. Now shush, your texts are annoying Robin.'_

'Well tell him I'm very sorry for distracting his super hot, loud moaning, extremely fuckable wife from whatever boring tv show you're both watching.'

_'Goodnight Emma.'  
' :) '_

~

_'Robin has taken Henry camping for the night, do you want to come over?'_

'I can't, mum and dad are cooking us an anniversary meal.'

_'Oh, well I hope you have a nice night.'_

~

'Hey Regina I need to ask you something.'  
'Regina?'  
'Hellooooooo'  
'Reginareginareginareginaregina'  
'I seriously need to ask you something.'  
'You're not even picking up the phone, where are youuuu?'

_'What is it Emma, I was busy.'_

'Doing what? You haven't answered in like an hour.'

_'None of your business now what do you want?'_

'Not until you tell me where you were? It's not like you to be away from your phone for so long.'

...

_'Fine, I was with Robin. Happy?'_

'Not really. When do you want my time sheets?'

_'Friday at the latest.'_

'Okay.'

~

'I really need to see you tonight Regina, can you get away?'

_'No, Robin wants to talk to me about something.'_

...

'What did he want to talk to you about?'

_'He wants us to renew our vows.'_

...

_'Can I see you?'_

'The docks, 20 minutes.'

~

_"Hi." Emma turned at the quiet voice behind her._  
"Hey." She paused waiting for Regina to talk but after nothing, she prompted the other woman. "You wanted to talk to me?"  
Regina nodded and turned to look out over the bay, the sun was just about setting behind them and causing long shadows to fall around them. She leaned against the wooden rail beside Emma as she spoke.  
"Robin told me he's noticed a change in my behaviour, I've become more secretive or something. I told him he was being silly but he thinks I don't love him anymore." Emma knew she had to tread carefully, Regina was still her friend and she had come to the blonde as that tonight, not a lover.  
"Do you?"  
Regina paused, considering her answer.  
"I love him, I'm not sure if I'm in love with him still."  
"Did you tell him this?" Regina nodded,  
"That's when he suggested we renew our vows. How could I say no without breaking up the entire relationship?" Emma hummed in agreement. She waited a couple of minutes, the cold Maine air whipping around them and sending leaves from the nearby park over the wooden boards and down into the gray sea below them. She allowed the silence between them to settle comfortably before continuing the conversation. 

_"What about us?" Regina sighed and closed her eyes._  
"I still want to see you Emma, you're the best sex I have ever had and you make me feel... different, better, alive." Regina opened her eyes and looked directly at Emma. "But Robin is my husband. And we made vows to each other and we're about to remake those vows and I can't do that knowing I'm still going to be seeing you." Emma paused knowing Regina needed her to be a friend, but that had changed a year and a half ago when Regina had proposed this idea and now Emma had her own happiness to think about.  
"What if it was more than sex?" Regina balked at the words and looked quickly back out to the darkening ocean.  
"What are you talking about?" She could hear the tremble in her own voice but put it down to the cold wind creeping up on them.  
"I mean, what if us, what if we became more than sex? You aren't happy with Robin and I don't think I've ever really been happy with Hook, he was just someone my parents liked me being with." Emma shook her head as she realised she was rambling. "What if we became a thing, officially. Then we wouldn't have to sneak around or schedule sex around other people. I mean you've said yourself how good I am," Emma nudged Regina and the brunette smirked at the comment, "so why not have that every night?"  
Regina took a deep breath and sighed as she continued to watch the Atlantic roll into their little bay. She could feel Emma's eyes burning into her but she refused to feel rushed about this decision. On the one hand yes, Emma made her feel wonderful, magical (the irony of that term was not lost on Regina and she smiled to herself at its use), safe even. But Robin had given up everything to be with her. She couldn't just throw that back in his face. Coming to a decision, she turned and faced Emma again. 

_"I'm sorry but I have to stay with Robin." She could see Emma about to interrupt and held up a finger to stop her. "He gave up everything for me, his son, his new, happy memories, all so he could come back here and get stuck in a small seaside town for the rest of his life. He has proven to me time and time again he is committed to my happiness and even though he doesn't always achieve it," Emma snorted here and Regina glared at her, "I owe it to him to stay. I do still love him and I do love the life we have. And I loved our little adventure but this was never forever Emma. It was going to end sometime."_  
Emma had tried to stay calm throughout Regina's explanation but she was finding it increasingly harder to keep her head and by the time the brunette was finished she was seeing red.  
"You aren't happy Regina!" Emma shouted. "You've said hundreds of times that this wasn't the happy ending you were hoping for and you shouldn't have to stay with that man out of some stupid, old fashioned sense of... commitment!" Emma breathed heavily, watching for a reaction but Regina merely continued to watch the ocean, as if she hadn't heard a word. Emma stepped forward, placing a hand delicately on Regina's arm. "Regina I..." The older woman turned to look at Emma, a soft plea in her eyes for the blonde to stop but Emma knew she needed to tell Regina everything, hopefully then she would change her mind? 

_It was this small hope that emboldened Emma and encouraged her to continue. She stepped closer, feeling Regina's warm breath on her cooling cheeks. "I love you. I'm in love with you and I want to spend every day with you and Henry, just us. I want to fall asleep curled around your body and wake up tangled in your beautiful legs. I want to hear you singing in the shower and watch you bake those delicious apple turnovers." Emma cupped Regina's cheeks in her gloved hands, moving the brunette so there was only a hairs breadth of space between them. "And I know you feel the same. I've seen it in your eyes and your voice and the way you touch me." Emma moved closer, her hair falling to surround the two women's faces. "Please Regina."_

_Soft tears had crept down Regina's face, soaking her cheeks and dripping down into her scarf. She took a shuddering breath,  
"I... I..." Her voice was hoarse, barely more than a whisper. Emma smiled softly, urging Regina to continue, to admit what they had somehow always known would be inevitable._

_But Regina pulled away, stepping out of Emma's personal space and away from the pier edge. The wind whipped Emma's hair about her face and she felt the first of many tears fall down her cheek. Emma furrowed her brow and stepped forward, reaching for Regina but the brunette took another step back, shaking her head.  
"I-" Regina's voice cracked and she took a deep breath and started again. "I can't do this Emma, I can't. All I bring is pain and hurt to the ones I love and I... I refuse to do that to you." Regina continued to walk backwards as she spoke. "You mean too much to me Emma and I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Regina sobbed as she watched Emma's face collapse, tears streaming down her perfect cheeks. "I...I have to go." Regina turned then, running down the pier towards the path that led back to the town centre, hot tears burning her cheeks and blurring her vision. She could vaguely hear Emma calling her name behind her, the voice choked with the blondes own tears, but she refused to turn around. She had to keep walking otherwise... well she didn't know what would happen if she turned, what would be said, what couldn't be taken back. As she climbed up the gravel path, Regina tried to remind herself she had made the right choice. Robin was her happy ending, he had come back for gods sake how could she just walk out on him after all they had been through?_

_Emma watched the brunette run back down the pier and up towards the town centre. She shouted until her voice was hoarse and Regina had faded away into the night. Eventually she collapsed against the wooden post holding up the railings and pulled her knees to her chest. Shivering in the winter air, she watched the moonlight dance and flicker over never ending waves and forced herself to forget. Again._

~

Emma awoke to damp cheeks and a hoarse throat. Sitting up she immediately groaned at the thumping headache pulsing across her forehead. As she watched the sun move higher over the city skyscrapers, flashes of a dream and memories she'd rather not remember came back and she groaned again, falling back onto the plump pillows underneath her. She was roused from her thoughts by a soft rapping on the adjoining door.  
"Come in Regina." The brunette poked her head around the door and grinned at Emma's state.  
"Too much tequila?"  
Emma grimaced and replied, "No such thing." Regina laughed lightly.  
"I just came through to say Henry called. He tried you but got no answer." Emma rolled her eyes. "He's taking us on a tour of the campus. He's picking us up in half an hour so get up." Emma groaned yet again before throwing a pillow at Regina's retreating laugh and heading for the shower. Today was going to be a long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lemme know what you think.


	4. Chapter 4

Henry picked them up from the hotel and drove across the city to his dorm. Parking the car, he led both women around the side of the building and between two large arches, into a grass quad. Both women marvelled at the buildings as they walked slowly through, grinning widely as Henry described each one and pointed out where he had classes, society meetings and a few of the college bars.  
"Don't worry moms, I won't be going in until next month." Emma smirked as Regina patted her sons shoulder.  
"We're so proud of you Henry. And this university is so beautiful." Emma nodded in agreement. The three carried on walking to the south end of the campus and as they turned a corner, a young woman almost ran into them.  
"I'm so sorry-" the woman paused as she focused on Henry, "heeeey long time no see Henry! How've you been?" Henry smiled,  
"Okay I guess, Lucy and I broke up last week so my moms came up to visit." The woman peered around Henry to see the two women smiling gently at the interaction. She immediately thrust her hand out, "I'm so sorry, Mrs and Mrs Mills. Please, don't let me keep Henry from you." Emma and Regina shook her hand but neither tried correcting the woman. Henry watched them but before he could question it, the woman had turned back to face him. "There's a charity parade up in the west quarter this afternoon if you're interested? A few societies are going to support." Henry started to decline the offer, gesturing to his mothers but Regina jumped in before he could speak.  
"Of course, he'd love to go." The woman smiled widely at Regina and began walking quickly down the path they had just walked up.  
"I'll see you later Henry, give me a text later." She threw over her shoulder before disappearing around another corner.

Once she had gone, Henry turned to his parents.  
"Of course I'm not going to go, you two came here to see me. And I don't want to drake you through a charity parade full of drunk, rowdy students." Regina winced at the thought.  
"Emma and I will be fine Henry, we can entertain ourselves can't we Emma?" Emma nodded, smiling at her son.  
"You go and enjoy yourself kid, spend some time with your friends."  
Henry reluctantly agreed and led his mothers away to an Italian bistro for lunch.

A couple of hours later Emma and Regina found themselves wandering through Central Park, Henry had long ago left them for his parade.  
"How are you Regina?" The brunette shrugged.  
"Hungover. I never want to even smell tequila ever again, let alone drink it." Emma chuckled.  
"No I meant how are you and Robin, how's your life now Henry's gone. I know we meet up but we don't talk like we used to, we don't complain about Hook and Robin like we used." Emma paused to watch Regina. "I miss that." Regina carried on looking straight ahead, not breaking her stride. As it became apparent she wasn't going to answer, Emma continued. "Only I've noticed you haven't been yourself back in Storybrooke." Regina raised an eyebrow but stayed silent. "We haven't seen you out much, you hardly turn up to meetings anymore and when you do you let people walk all over you. It's almost as if you aren't listening to what they're saying." Regina sighed.  
"And what're you trying to say Emma?" Emma turned to face the path in front of them.  
"I guess I thought if I took you to the big city, away from prying eyes and ears, you might open up to me. Talk to me again." The women sat down on a bench beside the path, overlooking a soccer pitch. A Sunday afternoon kids league were starting their warm ups and both women watched in silence. Eventually Regina spoke.  
"I'm not happy." Emma bit back a sarcastic reply but Regina could sense it was on the tip of her tongue and smirked. "I know, I know. You've told me a million times Robin doesn't make me happy but I grew up surrounded by true love and soulmates. It was practically a belief system back in the enchanted forest. I saw your mother and father and their happiness and I wanted that for myself. Is that such a bad thing?" Emma shook her head.  
"Of course not."  
"It was only afterwards of course, once I actually had a supposed happy ending, that I realised these things can't be orchestrated. You have to spend time with someone, get to know them and fall in love with them naturally. I knew Robin was supposed to be my soulmate and so I forced my feelings for him. At the start it wasn't so bad, I think I truly felt love and compassion for him. But as months started to turn into years and the boredom took over well..." Emma chuckled quietly.  
"Yeah..." They sat in silence again, watching as the world passed them by.  
"After I renewed my vows it was okay again. It felt like a fresh start for both of us and that was good. I managed to hold out a lot longer the second time round but there were a few times..." Regina paused, considering if she should tell Emma. "A few times I had your number dialled, ready to call you back." Emma turned, surprised at the admission.  
"Why didn't you?"  
"Because every time I thought of you or us my heart ached and I felt so guilty and angry and sad and... I didn't know what you would say or do. We were starting to become friends again, properly, and I didn't want to ruin that for a second time." Emma nodded.  
"Perhaps it's best you didn't call then."  
"Perhaps." Regina replied quietly.

"What about you and Hook?" Emma snorted and Regina turned to face her properly.  
"I'm breaking up with him when we get back." The certainty of the statement surprised Regina but she didn't question it, merely nodded. "We were never right and I guess yeah...I thought he might be my happy ending too. I'm surprised I've hung on this long if I'm honest. I should've broken up with him after we did." Emma shrugged. "It's not a big deal."  
"Okay." Regina wanted to push further but the finality of Emma's tone warned her not to, so she didn't.

A cool breeze whipped around the two women and they instinctively shifted closer together as they pulled their coats tighter around themselves.   
"Did we do the right thing?" Regina spoke quietly.  
"About us?" Regina nodded. "I don't know." Emma paused, allowing the wind in the trees to fill the silence. "We could have been happy."  
"Or I could have ruined everything."  
Emma dipped her head in agreement, "I guess we'll never know." She replied.  
"I guess not."

Their silence was broken by the chirp of Regina's phone. Digging into her bag, Regina retrieved the device and answered the call.  
"Henry, what's wrong?"  
'Nothing mom, I'm just calling to say I've reserved tables at that restaurant I mentioned yesterday. Table is booked for 6:30. Where are you?" Regina glanced at her watch before answering.  
"We're still in Central Park, we won't have time to get back to the hotel before the meal. Can we meet you there?"  
"Sure mom, see you in about half an hour."  
"Bye love." Regina hung up and turned to Emma, "Table is booked for half past six so we have about forty minutes. I told Henry we'd meet him there." Emma nodded before standing and stamping her feet to warm them.  
"Better get moving then." Regina stood and they moved off across the park, walking side by side in silence.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some drunk Emma and Regina and a tiny bit of smut.

_'It's when you're on the brink of something  
That you lose your balance.  
You told me that once.  
When I can't bring myself to say what I need to,  
My heart plays Russian Roulette with my throat.  
I swear I fired that night, but, nothing.'_

"And would you like any drinks with your meal?" The waitress smiled sweetly at the family before her.  
"Can I get a glass of your house Pinot Noir please?" The waitress nodded and turned to the blonde.  
"A pint of Carlsberg please." The waitress nodded, jotting down the order and turned to Henry. Just as he was opening his mouth however, Regina cut in,  
"And a pint of coke please." The waitress nodded again and returned to the bar to sort their drinks. Henry immediately turned to his mother.  
"Mooooom c'mon I'm twenty-one in a couple of months, and you're allowed to have like a beer with a meal right?" Henry turned to Emma for confirmation but before she could reply, Regina cut in again.  
"No Henry. I won't be responsible for underage drinking." Regina turned to look across the restaurant, effectively telling the other two that that was her final say in the matter. Henry looked pleadingly at Emma who turned to Regina.  
"C'mon Regina, it's only one beer. It won't do him any harm and no one will know." Regina turned back to her dinner companions and looked from one set of puppy dog eyes to the other. Eventually she relented and when the waitress came over with their drinks, she ordered another beer.

Henry led them around the corner and into a student bar cleverly called 'The Library'. Emma laughed as Regina followed Henry through the doors and practically shouted,  
"So is this where you go when you tell us you're studying?"   
Henry smiled. "No mom, I do go to the proper library...usually." The end was lost on Regina who had walked past to an empty booth but Emma heard and nudged Henry with a grin. Settled in their booth, Regina and Emma pulled out the cocktail menu as Henry glanced around the bar. Deciding on their drinks, Regina stood to order just as Henry waved at somebody across the room. Looking back apologetically at his parents, Emma waved him off and Regina kissed his cheek before shooing him away,  
"Go go, we're fine here." Henry apologised before weaving his way through the bar to a table full of students.

Upon Regina's return, she took Henry's seat so she was sat next to Emma and had an unblocked view of the entire bar. The two women sipped at their drinks as they watched the room gradually fill and they both smiled at the thought of countless parents believing their children were currently studying in the library.

Finishing their drinks, Regina stood to buy more but was stopped by Emma's hand.  
"Do you think it's a good idea to drink any more?" She considered the words. On the one hand no, her head was still thumping from last nights tequila. But on the other hand, she knew she needed to be drunk. And needed Emma to be just as drunk otherwise she wouldn't have the courage to do what she should have done years ago.  
"I've given up on good ideas, Emma. What good did they ever bring me?"   
Emma nodded. "Shots?" Regina smiled and headed over to the bar. 

"C'mon c'mon, person most likely tooo... kiss and tell?" Regina glanced over to the group Henry was sat with before shaking her head and turning back to Emma.  
"I refuse to judge these people Emma, especially when they're Henry's friends." Emma nudged Regina and whispered,  
"No one will know." Regina rolled her eyes.  
"Okay that one on the right, with the blond hair. He looks like he would kiss and tell." After a moments thought she added, "It's always the blondes." Emma gasped in mock shock and playful pushed Regina who chuckled. They sat watching the group for a couple more moments before Emma stood.  
"More?" The word sparked memories of the previous night in Regina and she blushed before coughing and saying in as neutral a tone as possible,  
"Yes please." 

Emma returned with three more shots each of various colours. At Regina's arched eyebrow she shrugged.   
"The guy behind the bar said they had a special offer on. I think he said it was skittles vodka but I couldn't hear properly cos of this damn music." Regina laughed and pulled a red, purple and yellow shot towards her, leaving the green, orange and blue ones for Emma. Downing them one after the other, the women added the glasses to their growing pile and grimaced as their throats burned.

A couple of hours had passed since Henry had brought his mothers here and, despite keeping an eye on them for the first hour, he had since forgotten they were there as more friends arrived and everybody was catching up on their spring break adventures. That was, of course, until a loud tinkling laugh burst over the trashy pop music and was closely followed by a deep chuckle. Henry turned to the direction the sounds were coming from and winced. His mothers were still here. Excusing himself from the table, he weaved his way back through the bar and stood in front of his parents. It took them a couple of moments to realise there was someone stood before them but as both women looked up into the disapproving glare of their son, they both bent over and giggled drunkenly.  
"We were just talking about you Henry, when you were in diapers." Regina slurred. "Come, sit with us, drink with us." Regina attempted to lean over and drag Henry down into a seat but ended up on the floor beneath the table. Emma just laughed as Regina pulled herself back onto the bench, pouting. "Don't laugh Emma, the floor is hard." She playfully hit the blonde who gasped in mock outrage. Henry rolled his eyes at the exchange.  
"C'mon moms, I'm putting you in a taxi." Emma turned to look at Henry, her eyes slightly glazed, and frowned.  
"But we're having so much fun here!" She exclaimed. Henry looked over to where his friends were now peering curiously across at him.  
"Please mom, you're both pretty drunk and I think it's time you go back to the hotel." Emma looked behind Henry at the table of students and giggled. She turned to Regina who was pouting and mumbling curses to herself as she rubbed her bruised leg and loudly whispered,  
"Pssssst Gina!" Henry raised an eyebrow at the familiar term but Emma continued before he could question it. Regina raised her head sluggishly and grinned at Emma. "We're embarrassing Henry in front of his mates. He wants us to go." Regina turned back to her son and attempted to raise an eyebrow but ended up scrunching her brows and nose together. Emma laughed and was smacked again. Regina took a deep breath.  
"Iss suppose we must go. Then." Regina slurred and blinked before looking back at Emma, who was smirking at her drunken state. Emma nodded and looped her arm through Regina's, she grabbed their coats and bags and helped Henry lead the brunette out of the bar.

The two women fell into Regina's room giggling and shoving each other. Sprawling herself across Regina's bed, Emma watched the ceiling swirl above her and felt her head spin at a million miles an hour. She didn't hear Regina but frowned as she felt something hit her stomach. Sitting up on her forearms, Emma looked down and was hit on the side of the head by a peanut. The bed sunk as Regina collapsed down next to her and threw a third peanut.  
"I said," Regina drawled, "do you want some peanuts." Emma giggled and grabbed a handful from the open packet. Throwing a few in her mouth, she took the rest and proceeded to throw them at Regina. The brunette stood, taking the last nuts from the packet, and ran to the other side of the room. She hid behind a chest of drawers, laughing as she threw her peanuts in the general direction of her bed. 

After a couple of minutes she peered around the cabinet and crawled back to her bed. Emma was propped up on her pillows, picking pieces of peanut from her hair and giggling to herself. Climbing up onto the bed she sat cross legged opposite Emma. 

Emma looked up from the peanut she was examining and watched Regina plop down in front of her. Letting her eyes roam across the slightly smudged makeup and glowing cheeks, Emma noticed another peanut in Regina's hair. Giggling, she reached forward to retrieve it but lost her balance completely and ended up falling on top of Regina. The brunette fell back at the sudden weight pushing down on her and pulled Emma down with her. The laughter died on both their lips as they looked at one another, the alcohol coursing through them suddenly clearing their vision but hazing their brains. Emma leaned down, cautiously, slowly, waiting for the inevitable, for Regina to pull away again. 

But Regina didn't move. She stayed perfectly still, watching Emma lean down, moving torturously slow until rough lips connected with hers. The spark was immediate, warmth spreading everywhere at once. It felt just as amazing as it had the night before and then ten times better. Regina weaved her fingers through Emma's blonde curls and pulled her closer, savouring the taste, the feel, the explosion of light at the mere touch from the other woman. As beautiful now as it had been all those years ago.

Regina moved her hands down, sliding over Emma's woolen sweater and landing on her jeans. She deftly opened them and slipped a hand inside, the other holding firmly onto Emma's hip. Regina moaned into Emma's mouth at the wetness she found there before rubbing fast circles over her clit and thrusting two fingers inside her. She was rewarded with a deep groan from Emma who immediately bucked her hips and began moving in sync with Regina. Her head dipped, falling into the crook of Regina's neck where she peppered the soft skin with nips and licks. She could feel her orgasm growing, heat pulsing through her body. She hadn't felt like this in a long time and she never wanted it to end.

Regina's pace increased, using her thigh to push deeper and deeper into Emma. All too soon, she felt Emma's inner walls clench around her fingers and she watched as the woman she had once given everything to fall off the brink into ecstasy. She heard her name leave Emma's lips over and over again and felt the rush of liquid cover her hand and soak the blondes panties and jeans further. She looked into Emma's orgasm glazed eyes and smiled. Before she could stop her thoughts, she heard herself whisper,  
"I love you, Emma Swan." 

She watched as Emma blinked, clarity returning to her, her eyes no longer glazed over. She watched the blondes mouth open slightly, words sitting on the tip of her tongue. She watched Emma's mouth close, watched the woman sit up and climb off the bed and she watched as Emma opened the adjoining door and turned. 

"Too late Regina."

The door clicked shut, leaving Regina in the middle of a crumpled comforter, the scent of Emma's arousal still heavy in the air. She closed her eyes, willing the hot sting of tears not to betray her. Her stupid, stupid mouth. She had always told Emma their relationship could be nothing more and now, in the heat of the moment, she had let her tongue run away and ruined everything. A sob escaped her mouth as tears continued to stream down her cheeks and pool beneath her chin. Regina began to rock as sob after sob racked her body.   
Eventually, the tears ran dry and all Regina could do was stare at the wall separating herself from Emma.

Neither women slept that night and when Henry came over the next morning he didn't miss the heavy circles and reddened eyes on both his mothers. A piercing glare from Regina stopped any questions on his lips and after hugging both women farewell he whispered,  
"Call me mom, when you get back." In the brunettes ear. Regina nodded and offered him a soft smile before collecting her bag and heading out to her car. Henry turned to Emma, a frown contorting his brow.  
"We had a slight disagreement last night kid, nothing for you to worry about though. I'll text when we get home okay?" Henry nodded and accepted a swift kiss to his cheek before following Emma from the hotel foyer and waving Regina's Mercedes off.

~

Three hours into their journey and still Regina hadn't said a word to Emma, it was driving her crazy. Emma had asked which radio station Regina preferred, silence. Emma had then asked when they could stop for lunch, silence. The tension radiating from the brunette was unbearable and Emma was suffocating in it.

"Oh my god Regina just say something, please!" Regina took a deep breath and spoke, never taking her eyes off the road.

"I don't ever want to talk about this weekend again. When we get back to Storybrooke none of this happened, we continue being friends, we put on a front for everybody else but not a word to anyone. Can you promise me that Emma?" Emma watched the Connecticut countryside flash past as she considered Regina's words. Had she done the right thing? What would Regina say if she took back what she had said last night? Told her she loved Regina too, had never stopped loving her. She was broken from her thoughts,  
"Emma?" The blonde turned, surprised to see Regina looking at her rather than the road.  
"Okay." Her voice was hoarse, her eyes holding back tears she refused to shed. With a satisfied nod, Regina turned back to the road and continued their journey in silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, let me know what you think please.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last proper chapter, the next one is an epilogue.   
> Warning: Here be character death...

_'Someday, I'll show you the bullet I had for you,  
After time has done the wash.  
I'll take it out of the jar of missed opportunities.  
We'll hold it up to the light.  
You'll roll it around your mouth like a fallen tooth.  
You won't forgive me exactly,  
But we'll laugh about how small it is.  
We'll wonder how such a little thing  
Could ever have meant so much.'_

Three years had passed since that weekend in New York. Both women had since returned, especially as Henry had been offered a job at a publishing firm there, but never together. Soon after Regina had asked Robin for a divorce, both mutually agreed their relationship was over and probably had been for some time. Neither were completely happy any more and the split was amicable. Emma had followed suit soon after, ending her relationship with Hook and enjoying her life as a single woman again.

~

"Regina? My car won't start can you give me a lift to the meeting?" Regina sighed.  
"I'll be over in twenty minutes, make sure you're ready to leave this time. I can't be late again." Emma thanked her before hanging up and getting her notes ready for the annual budget meeting, the only council meeting she actually bothered to turn up to these days.

"Thanks Regina, I owe you one." Regina smiled across at Emma as she turned onto the Main Street and headed towards the town hall. The sidewalks were packed with snow so both women had opted to drive to the meeting.  
"I was wondering, actually, if I could get an extra couple of thousand into the sheriff's budget this year? Only there's a couple of kids graduating this summer and looking into becoming police cadets but the budget at the moment won't stretch to training all of them." Emma looked hopefully over to Regina who was concentrating intently on the road ahead of them.  
"You know I can't discuss this outside of the meeting Emma. How would it look if you suddenly got an extra two thousand dollars without the other council members discussing it?" Regina arched an eyebrow and glanced across at a grinning Emma.  
"Blackmail?" Regina laughed,   
"I know too much about you for you to hold anything against me Emma Swan." Emma simply rolled her eyes and turned to watch the houses slowly pass them by. 

As Regina turned the corner toward the Town Hall, her back wheel caught a patch of black ice. The back of the car spun out of control and Emma watched as Regina frantically pumped the brakes to no avail. The car spun one hundred and eighty degrees before hitting a bollard and rolling onto it's roof. As it skidded to a stop Emma, who had braced herself before the roll, relaxed and undid her seatbelt. Gently lowering herself onto the car roof, she kicked the door and groaned in pain. A pulse radiated out from her ankle and up her leg, throbbing as it went. 

Leaving the door for now she turned to face Regina.  
"Regina?" The brunette didn't stir. Emma leaned over to find Regina's furthest leg trapped between the steering column and buckled door. "Regina! Can you hear me Regina?" At Emma's shout Regina's eyes opened slowly, taking in their surroundings.  
"Emma?"   
"Yeah I'm here Regina. Hold on I'm gonna try and get us out." Emma sat back a moment, trying to figure out how she could get them both out without causing more injuries.

Turning back to her own door, Emma shifted her weight and kicked again at the window with her other foot. On the third attempt the glass smashed and, carefully so as not to cut herself further, Emma slithered out of the window and onto the cold tarmac outside. Leaning back through the window, she shouted to Regina.  
"Hold on a sec Regina, I'm coming round your side." Regina grunted in reply.  
As Emma stood, she moaned again as the pain radiated up from her ankle once again. Breathing deeply, she gripped onto the underside of the car and hopped around to the drivers side. Dropping to the floor, she looked around for something to punch the window in with. "Close your eyes Regina, I'm gonna punch the window in." Emma saw Regina nod and, having found nothing nearby, wrapped her leather jacket around her fist and started punching at the glass. Luckily, what with the car being over thirty years old, the glass gave way within a few minutes. Making sure there weren't any chips left around the edges, Emma reached in.  
"Regina? Are you still with me?" Regina nodded, eyes still closed.  
"Open your eyes Regina, talk to me."  
"Chest. Hurts." Her voice rasped and Emma could hear the pain in her voice.   
"Okay try to keep talking Regina, tell me how you were gonna piss Councillor Davidson off today." Regina smiled before starting to slowly, haltingly describe to Emma how she planned to annoy her financial advisor this year. As she talked, Emma reached through the window and gradually pulled Regina's leg from where it had been wedged, trying to ignore the groans of pain that escaped between words. Finally, both of Regina's legs were free and Emma managed to hook her arms beneath Regina's armpits and pull the brunette out of the car completely. 

Placing Regina gently on the ground, being careful to kick away the shards of glass beforehand, Emma shook out her jacket and placed it over Regina as best she could. The brunette had already started to shiver on the icy ground and Emma didn't want to add hypothermia to her worries. Crawling around so she was kneeling next to Regina's head, Emma brushed the brunette locks out of Regina's eyes.  
"Are you still with me Regina? Say something to me," Regina coughed and groaned loudly before whispering,  
"Yeah I'm here."  
"Good Regina, good." Emma pulled her jumper over her head and balled it up, placing it under Regina's. Pulling out her mobile, she called the hospitals front desk. "Hi it's Sheriff Swan, I've been in an accident with the mayor and I need an ambulance now! We're just off Main Street headed towards town hall." Emma paused as the nurse on the other end replied. "What? No this is an emergency. Can't you redirect it?" Another pause. "Well how long is it gonna be? Okay, what should I do to make Regina comfortable? Yeah I've done that...and that. Okay please tell them to hurry though. Thanks." Emma hung up and wiped some smeared dirt from Regina's cheek.   
"What's happening?" The older woman croaked, pain flashing across her chest with every word. Emma tried to smile confidently.  
"The ambulance is on its way Regina. Some idiot dwarf fell down the mine but as soon as they've taken him to hospital they're coming straight here."  
"How long?"  
"The nurse said about twenty minutes. Stay with me Regina, it won't be that long." Regina attempted to nod but winced, a tear leaking down her cheek and leaving a track in the grit still there.  
"Don't move your neck Regina, if you've hurt it I don't want you making it worse." Regina mumbled something. "What was that? Okay, what's Henry doing at the moment? Tell me what he said last time you spoke." Regina began to mumble, most of the words incomprehensible. "Talk to me properly Regina, open your eyes for me come on, look at me." Regina dragged her eyes open, taking a couple of seconds to focus on the blonde above her.  
"Chest. Hurts." Regina's voice was weak and Emma had to strain to hear her. "Can't. Breathe." Emma moved her jacket and then began unbuttoning Regina's pale blue blouse. Regina lifted her right hand, attempting to swat Emma's away but dropped it back to her side, the movement taking too much of her energy. Emma smiled at the attempt.  
"I'm just looking to see if there's any bruising." Regina snorted.  
"You're just checking me out." She whispered. Emma shook her head and gasped as she pulled the blouse open. Red bruises covered Regina's torso and Emma could see the effort it was taking her to breathe in and out. Regina tried to crane her neck down to look but screamed as the muscles in her neck resisted the movement. Emma quickly placed her hands on both sides of Regina's head.  
"What did I tell you about moving your neck Regina? Lie still." Regina groaned and Emma took it as a promise she wouldn't move again.   
"What's it look like?" The brunette asked.  
"It's not too bad, better than I expected." Emma lied, hoping Regina wouldn't notice. Regina grunted, accepting whatever Emma was saying. Making sure Regina's head was as still as possible, Emma checked her phone. The ambulance was still going to be another ten minutes at best, at worst... Emma didn't want to think what would happen if it took any longer. Placing her hands back on either side of Regina's head, the blonde looked at her friends face properly for the first time since the crash. Blood had dried around where Regina's lip split and a bruise was forming beneath her right eye. Grit lined her hairline and her chin was grazed but as Emma continued to stare, she saw the beginnings of laughter lines in the corners of Regina's eyes and around her mouth. She saw a stray gray hair, intermingled with the dark, shining brown locks and she watched as Regina's plump lips grimaced slightly at the pain Emma knew she must be feeling.

"Open your eyes Regina, I need you to look at me." Regina's eyes flickered open before closing again. "Come on Regina, I need you to focus on me. I need you to talk to me. The ambulance will be here soon and then you'll be okay." Regina grunted but it was weaker than before. After a couple of seconds she opened her eyes and focused on Emma, a small smile spread across her lips. Emma smiled back, willing the tears not to drop from her eyes. It was going to be okay. Regina was going to be okay and Henry will be here and everything will be okay again. Regina's eyes drooped again, slowly falling closed. Emma shook her head, "No Regina, stay awake, keep looking at me, keep talking to me."  
"It's okay Emma, I just need to sleep for a bit." Regina relaxed slightly, a smile still painting her lips.  
"Regina! No Regina, stay awake! Stay with me, please!" Emma became more frantic as Regina's eyes stayed shut.  
"I'm coming back Emma, my eyes feel so tired. And my stomach hurts." Regina's whisper was faint.  
"Please Regina! I-"

"It's okay Emma, the ambulance won't get here and it's okay." Regina tried to open her eyes, if only to look upon the blonde beauty one last time.  
"No Regina it's not fucking okay. Those stupid dwarves and their stupid fucking adventures and you're lying here and I don't know what to fucking do!" Tears had begun to fall and Emma couldn't stop them. She felt completely helpless as she held onto Regina's head.  
"I hope you don't talk like that around Henry, I don't want him picking up your bad habits." Regina attempted a laugh but it turned into more of a wince. Emma shook her head.  
"He's twenty-five Regina, I'm pretty sure he's heard a lot worse by now." Regina's smile widened slightly.  
"Look after him Emma." Emma went to interrupt but stopped as Regina continued, her voice rasping now. "You were a good mother, you were always the fun mother. I know he preferred you." Emma shook her head vigorously.  
"No Regina! You can't think like that. You're his mom, you always were and you always will be. You're going to see him get married and you're going to be a grandma and maybe even a great-grandma. Stop talking like this Regina. Stop it!" Regina brought her hand up to cup Emma's cheek, her thumb rubbing away the tears she felt pooling there.  
"It's okay Emma. It's going to be okay." Emma sunk further onto the ground, her head now inches from Regina's. 

"I love you Regina. I loved you 14 years ago and I loved you in New York and I love you so fucking much and you aren't going to die. I'm not going to let you fucking die on me." The words were a whisper but Regina heard them as if Emma had shouted from the rooftops. She rubbed the blondes cheek as she spoke.  
"Emma... Thank you." Emma frowned,  
"For what?"  
"For being my happy ending. For always being my happy ending." Fresh tears coursed down Emma's face, leaving more tracks in the dirt there. She lifted her head slightly so she could look at Regina's face, the tanned cheeks, that perfect nose and those full, burgundy lips. Emma knew the mayor had picked a shade that would both distract and entice her councillors in equal measure and she sobbed at how perfect Regina's thinking had been. Always so perfect.  
"Regina? Regina! Please just open your eyes, talk to me Regina. Say something, say anything. REGINA!"

Regina opened her eyes tiredly, looking straight up into darkened jade irises. She could feel it coming. Death. The end. This was where she was going to die. And she couldn't have wished for a more beautiful way to go, in the arms of the one person who always believed in her. Even after the curse broke and Henry had abandoned her, Emma had protected her. Emma had believed Regina could save the town from destruction and together, they had stopped the diamond. Emma had been there all through Neverland, never judging. Just there. And Emma had promised her a happy ending, had never given up on finding Regina's. But they had both been so blind, so stupid.

"I love you Emma Swan." Regina felt her breath hitch before the blackness encroached and swallowed Emma's face. The last thing she heard was Emma screaming 'no' at her before the world went silent. The pain dissipated until she couldn't feel a thing and she wondered if this was what it felt like, just as you're about to fall asleep. As you slip into unconsciousness and the infinity of dreams opens before you.

~

Emma watched the breath leave Regina's body after the last word. Watched as her limbs went slack, the hand falling from where it had rested on the blondes cheek and landing with a faint thud on Emma's thigh. She heard her own voice screaming no, telling Regina to wake up, to come back, to do anything. Her vision blurred as hot tears fell thickly, wetting Regina's cheeks. Emma bent her head down so it was resting on Regina's still chest, her tears now soaking into Regina's skin and running down to her black lace bra.

When the paramedics arrived ten minutes later, they found Emma unmoved. Her voice now hoarse from her screams and her eyes dry, no more tears left to cry. It took both men to prise Emma from the body and even then she refused to let go of Regina's hand as they set out a bag and started to lift Regina into it. At this Emma lashed out, whacking the first paramedic across the cheek before the second could get a hold of both her arms and restrain her.

A couple of minutes later David arrived and held her back as the paramedics placed Regina on a stretcher and carried her into the back of the ambulance. As it drove away, sirens blaring uselessly, Emma turned into her fathers shoulder.  
"I loved her Dad." David pulled his daughter into a soft embrace, securing her against him.  
"I know you did sweetheart. I know you did."


	7. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it, the epilogue.  
> The poem at the end was written by Mhairi and the-pen-is-dead on tumblr so it belongs to them :)   
> Hope you...enjoyed this story? haha Please please let me know what you think.

Emma refused to leave Regina's mansion for the next two and a half weeks. David came over to inform her of the post mortem results but she screamed at him to leave. He placed the envelope with the autopsy transcript on the hall table and left without another word. Emma threw a glass at the closing door.

Henry called, he knocked on the door, he tried climbing over the fence and through the back garden but all the doors were locked. He shouted through the letter box but got no answer. Eventually Emma picked up, if only to stop her phone from buzzing.  
"Hi Kid."  
"Mom!" Emma winced. Regina was always mom "Talk to me, please. I need you to talk to me, to see me." Emma took a deep breath.  
"I'm sorry Henry, I just needed to be alone for a bit. If I had seen you well, I don't know what I might have done." Henry refrained from questioning his mother's response and instead tentatively asked,  
"Can I come and see you now?" Emma looked around the master bedroom. The walls were a deep plum, the bedspread violet and the wall hangings pictures of places Regina had been in the fourteen years since the final curse and broken. She lay back down on the bed, and placed her head on the untouched pillows on the left hand side. These ones still smelt of Regina's shampoo, if only faintly now.  
"Yeah kid, you can come over." Henry breathed a sigh of relief down the phone.  
"When?" He tried not to sound to eager but he had barely spoken since coming home from New York two weeks ago, refusing to talk to anyone but Emma. Emma looked up at the old fashioned alarm clock Regina kept on her bedside table.  
"Now I suppose." Henry smiled for the first time in what felt like years before jumping up from his makeshift bed and racing down the stairs.  
"I'm on my way mama." Emma hung up and turned to stare at the ceiling. As her eyes shifted, her gaze settled on a crack in the corner above Regina's closet and she let out a short, sharp laugh. Fifteen years ago, the first time Emma had slept over in this room, Regina had mentioned she needed to get the crack looked at. The laugh quickly turned into a sob and Emma felt the familiar sting of hot tears prick her eyes. Shaking her head, she sat up and wiped any moisture away. She grabbed her brush from the vanity and started to pull her hair up into a ponytail. Watching her reflection, she saw how gaunt and pale her face had become, apart from the ever present red rims surrounding her eyes. Her lips were dry and her hair fell limply over her shoulder. She had worn the same jumper and sweatpants for nearly a week now but if she lay still enough, she could still smell the perfume Regina used ingrained in the fabric. And that was enough to convince her they didn't need washing.

She had just finished adding milk to two mugs of tea when the door opened and Henry walked through. Stepping from behind the island, Emma allowed herself to be engulfed in his giant stature, his arms wrapping completely around her body and his head resting on top of hers. They stood together for a long while before Emma stepped backwards. Standing on her tiptoes, she leaned up and kissed Henry's cheek.  
"Thank you for understanding."   
Henry smiled. "Thank you for letting me in." Emma nodded before reaching for a now lukewarm mug of tea and handing it to Henry. Despite the cooling temperature, Henry grateful took it from her and began to drink. Emma left her mug on the bench. Silence fell between them, neither quite knowing what to say.  
"She loved you." Henry whispered. "She always loved you." Emma nodded, her gaze now focused on a rose bush swaying in the breeze outside. "And she'd want you to be happy, to carry on and do everything you would've done if she'd been here." Emma turned to look at her son.  
"I can't." Henry's brows furrowed slightly but Emma continued. "Everything I was going to do, I was going to do with her and now..." Emma stopped as she felt tears threaten again. Swallowing, she took a deep breath. "Now it's just me." Henry set his mug down and walked to stand in front of Emma again. Cupping his mothers cheek, he spoke quietly.  
"No one can ever replace mom and no one ever will but she wouldn't want you to sit in her house and not talk to people and not go out. She'd want you to smile and laugh and be like the Emma Swan she knew and fell in love with." Tears had started falling softly, collecting in Henry's hand. He leaned down and kissed the top of his mothers head. "Come to grandmas tonight and let her cook you dinner. She's worried about you ma, we all are." Emma began to shrug but Henry lay a hand gently on her shoulder. "Please ma." Emma sighed and nodded. She was going to have to face her mother eventually so she may as well get it over and done with.

Silence fell between them again as Henry finished his tea and Emma leaned back against the sink, staring into the hallway.  
"Shit." The expletive jerked Henry from his thoughts and he rushed to his mothers side.  
"What ma? Are you hurt? I thought they checked you out properly afterwards." Emma swatted his hands away.  
"No I'm fine Henry. It's just...I never asked you."  
"Asked me what?" Henry knew exactly where his mother was headed but he didn't want to go there right now. Since the moment he had pulled up outside Regina's house two weeks ago, his only thoughts had been for Emma's wellbeing and the funeral arrangements. He knew it probably wasn't healthy that he hadn't actually processed the events fully himself, but he couldn't break down yet, not while Emma clearly still needed him.  
"You. I never asked you how you were, how you're doing. I mean shit, you've had to organise everything," Emma's voice rose as she became more agitated and frustrated at herself. "The autopsy, the...," her voice choked, "the funeral..." Henry reached out to pull Emma towards him again but she stepped out of his reach and continued around the island until it sat between them, a physical barrier. "I'm a shit mother, I should've died in the crash not Regina. I've been sat here for weeks moping and I didn't even ask you...she was your mom, your only mom for eleven years until I showed up and ruined everything! Every single fucking thing!" Emma was on the verge of shouting now. Henry spoke in a level voice, trying to calm her but he could see she was becoming hysterical.  
"Ma-"  
"NO!" Emma shouted, "Don't call me that! I'm not your ma or you mom or anything. Regina's your mom." With more tears falling, cutting tracks down her reddening cheeks, Emma fled the room and ran up the stairs to Regina's room, slamming the door and locking it with magic behind her. She waited to here Henry's footsteps, waited for the knock but it never came. A few minutes later she heard the front door open and close quietly. An engine outside started and her phone vibrated in her pocket as the low thrum disappeared into the distance. Taking the phone out, she opened up the message.  
'Please come tonight. I love you. Henry xxx'   
She threw the phone across the room and it landed in a far corner beside Regina's white fluffy slippers. Emma let her head fall back onto the pillow and allowed the silk material to soak up what tears she had left.

~

Three weeks later.  
The funeral had been a small affair. Even after all this time people held grudges, didn't completely believe Regina's redemption. Emma supposed this should have angered her but in truth, she hadn't wanted lots of people there. Regina wouldn't have wanted lots of people there. She had spoken in the church, read a eulogy Henry had written with her and a poem they had found. Then she had sat beside her coffin in her crypt, surrounded by Regina's spell books and potions.

"This is where you were happiest Regina, with your magic and your spells and potions. I'll come down here every day and replace the flowers and read. I'll read every single book I can find down here, I'll learn how to make all your potions. I'll even learn elvish." Emma smiled to herself at the memories and placed a hand on the light mahogany coffin. "I won't leave you, I promise. I'll never leave you again." She pressed her lips firmly to the lid before standing. Placing a single lavender rose down, she whispered,  
"I love you Regina Mills." 

~

_'Watching clocks and dates and diaries,  
Watching Mondays turn to Fridays.  
It's taking time to make your mark,  
But time is painting light to dark._

_And in this night we'll come to be,  
Friends or lovers in time we'll see.  
Voices in the wind might speak,  
About the kiss I wish upon your cheek._

_Night to day and day to night,  
My blushing heart wills you might.  
Take my hand and run with me,  
To print our page in history._

_In the future they will tell,  
Of moonlit lovers who cast a spell.  
Upon Father time and memory,  
In which they became a reverie.'_


End file.
